Baby Pie
by Demolition Cyanide
Summary: You'll figure the title out ... eventually. My first Harley and Joker fic is presented here to you, the others have all been band related or just not uploaded, anywho enjoy! Reviews are much appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

"Hey Mistah J! Watcha watchin'?" Harley asked in her sing song voice as she sunk down next to her boyfriend The Joker on an decrepit sofa.

"Just myself on the news," He replied in a dull matter of fact tone, "Your home early. I thought you were staying at Weed Killer's till 7? Its only 5."

" Her names Ivy puddin' not Weed Killer, you know how much we both hate you callin' her that." Harley said in a saddened tone as she snuggled up to The Joker.

"I know I know pumpkin but I just love her reaction to it!" He exclaimed with a loud chuckle as he put his arms around Harley.

"Hmph. Do anything good today apart from watch yourself on the news then puddin'?" Harley enquired, sliding her hand through his bottle green locks.

"Not much really kid, waiting for you to get home mostly although I did make a couple of plans up for when I'm next in the mood for a little moonlight walk to the bank with you." He winked and flicked one of Harley's blonde pig tails.

"Awww Mistah J!" Harley giggled as The Joker shifted her onto his lap and proceeded to glide his lips across hers. "Somebody has been lonely today!" Harley giggled in between kissing The Joker.

"Well I try to keep myself busy but there's only so much plotting against Batman I can do in one day!" The Joker chortled.

"Hey boss!" one of The Joker's thugs called out as he tottered into the make-shift living room, "oh err, you two are busy, oh err, I'll just see myself out." He started to walk away.

The Joker relaxed back from Harley making her sigh, "What was it you wanted Callan?".

"Oh err well boss, me and the guys were just wondering when we'll be getting paid since you were supposed to pay us two days ago."

The Joker shifted Harley from his lap back onto the sofa with a sigh, "One second". He rummaged around in a light brown duffel bag next to the sofa till he found a wad of dark green notes and handed them to the thug in the doorway.

"Any chance we can get some privacy now?" The Joker glowered at him.

"Oh yeah sure thing boss! Me and the guys'll drink up and get goin'" Callan grunted as he scurried through the doorway he had come through. Harley proceeded to giggle as The Joker huffed his way back to his seat.

"Now then, where we pumpkin? Oh yes!" He pretended to think and abruptly jumped up from his seat and hurled Harley over his shoulder.

"Puddin'! Puddin' what are you doin'?" Harley proceeded to scream in between fits of giggles as The Joker carted her up to their room.

The Joker placed Harley on their bed and proceeded to remove his jacket and suspenders.

"I think somebody missed me today" Harley winked and let out a little giggle as The Joker removed his white shirt. He merely chuckled in response as Harley let out a squeal of surprise when he tugged her dark red tank top over her head. The Joker let out an approving growl when Harley slid off her black shorts and red tights.

"Daddy really missed me today!" Harley giggled as The Joker began to grace her neck with his velvety lips.

Jake shuddered at the sounds he heard from the window on the second floor of the abandoned warehouse he stood in front of.

"What's up kid?" Callan asked the relatively new henchman of The Joker.

"Oh nuffin' really, I just wish they shut that bloody window when their err, well you know what their doing up there." Jake shuddered as the Joker made a growling noise.

"Oh right, well just block it out, me and Joe've been doing that for the last 6 years and its worked out pretty well for us. It's that or stand out in the rain while we wait for Gaz to bring the car round an' somehow I don't think you'd rather be soaked through then listen to them two at it." Callan chuckled. Jake simply grunted in response. The truth was, he would much rather be stood in the pouring rain then have to listen to Harley and his boss. In all honesty, he would much rather swap places with his boss right now, not just because he wasn't stood outside freezing waiting for some idiot to drive him home but because he had Harley. Harley Quinn, the woman Jake had loved so much since he first laid eyes on her.

"About bloody time Gaz!" shouted Callan as a sleek black Mercedes pulled out from around the corner of the warehouse next door.

"Jeez, I wouldn't have been so long if someone," Gaz glared at Callan, "had parked the car properly rather then making me have to back out of that bloody warehouse and almost scratch the paint work!". Callan just grunted as he opened the passenger door and sat down. Joe climbed in the back and Jake followed suit with a sigh as he looked up at the second story window longingly.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Harley opened her sapphire eyes to find her bedroom filled with the vivid light of day. She rolled over to greet The Joker only to find ruffled bed sheets in his place.

"I wish you'd at least tell me you're going out." Harley sighed as she sat up. A white piece of paper on the dark violet pillow case next to her caught the corner of her eye. She picked it up and read the ornamental hand writing of her boyfriend:

"Maroni needed me, won't be back till later, keep smiling pumpkin! Mistah J x."

Harley smiled and set the note back down on the pillow case as she rolled out of the crumpled bed sheets.

"In other news, The Joker and his men were spotted last night leaving Gotham's museum of natural history and art. It appears to local police that the criminals entered the museum unnoticed and stole a $73 million set of rings once belonging to Queen Elizabeth I. All that was left at the crime scene was The Joker's signature trademark, a card with the image of a green jester printed on it. Police are searching Gotham for The Joker and his men but have yet to find any clues to his where abouts."

Harley giggled as the news reporter read out this headline. "The cops in this city are ridiculous!" she sighed to herself, standing up to go and wash out the bowl of cereal she had finished.

Just as she'd put the clean bowl back and began to shut the cupboard door, the contents of her breakfast began to make a sudden reappearance. Luckily, Harley managed to reach the bathroom toilet before her breakfast appeared once more, this was the third time in a week Harley had been sick after her breakfast. It couldn't have been the food she was eating as she'd had something different every day and it was only in the mornings she felt ill. Suddenly an idea popped into her head, one which was dismissed it at once but stayed at the back of her mind.

It had been two hours since she'd been ill and Harley felt absolutely fine. Sadly, The Joker had yet to make an appearance back at their make-shift home so Harley decided to go visit Poison Ivy but make a quick stop at the pharmacy store on the way just to completely dismiss her absurd idea.

Harley changed swiftly into a black low cut shirt and bright red mini skirt with a black diamond sewn onto the side of the red material. Before leaving the house, she decided to write a note in case The Joker managed to get home before her and became puzzled as to her where abouts.

"Just gone to Ivy's for a couple of hours, don't worry puddin' I'll be a-okay, Harley x."

Frowning at her scruffy handwriting, she left the piece of paper on the sideboard where it would be easy to see if The Joker were to return before her.

"Harley! I was wondering when you'd next darken my door!" Poison Ivy winked as she opened the door to find her friend there. Harley grinned back laughing.

"You know what my puddin's like Ivy, I tell him I'm coming here and he seems to fit." Harley sighed as she thought how annoyed her boyfriend would be if he were to find out where she was and who with.

"Hmph, I really don't get what you see in him." Ivy frowned but opened the door further so Harley could stroll inside.

"The roses have flowered! And their white! What did I say? I told you they would be white!" Harley smiled when she noticed the rose plant she had given to her friend the last time she'd seen her had flowered. "Oh and before I forget!" Harley handed Ivy a small pot containing a young venus fly trap plant, "I saw it in the window of that plant store you like and felt I had to get you it as an apology present for leaving super early the other day." Ivy smiled at her friend and stroked the plant.

"It's gorgeous Harley! Thank you!" smiling, Ivy placed it on her window sill which was already overflowing with different varieties of plants.

Ivy had made Harley a cup of green tea and the two of them had sat down on her home made wooden chairs.

"So Red, how are things?" Harley chirpily asked her friend.

"Oh just the usual really, could be worse," Ivy smiled at her friend, "yourself?"

Harley began to fiddle with the end of her skirt. "Well, Mistah J's fine, but, well, I don't really know as such about me." Harley looked down as she continued to play with her skirt.

"What do you mean you don't know Harley? He hasn't been hitting you again has he?" Ivy began to look worried at her friend and knelt down next to her, "Harley what's wrong honey?"

Harley sniffed as she looked down, trying not to cry. "Ivy, I think, well, I might be pregnant. It's not like the last time though! I think I've got morning sickness and I just feel weird." She sniffed again as a small tear trickled down her face.

"Oh Harley, have you got a test or anything? You don't know for sure yet honey, you might not be, you know there's some flu bug or something going around at the moment, it might just be that." Ivy said as she held Harley's hand in a delicate grip.

"I've got one in my bag. I got it just before I came here." Harley sniffed once again.

Ivy stood up, grabbed Harley's red and black diamond chequered bag, walked back over to the sniffling blonde and placed it on her lap. "Well there's only one way to find out honey." Ivy said in a relaxed voice.

"Harley? Harley are you okay in there? It's been long enough for you to do the test honey." Ivy said knocking on the bathroom door. The lock on the door clicked open and the door slowly opened revealing Harley's tear stained face.

"It's positive." Harley sobbed.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

"Harley for God's sake stop crying!" Ivy begged, bending down in front of the sobbing blonde that had collapsed against the stained magnolia walls of Ivy's apartment after breaking the news. "You need to tell him Harl ... he is the dad right?" Ivy asked, calmly but with a note of curiosity in her smooth voice.  
"Ivy! Of course he's the dad! I'd, I ... there could never be anyone else, ever!" Harley raised her head from her hands for a moment before returning to hiding her tear stained face.  
"Okay okay! I just, you never know I mean all it takes is one clumsy night and well..." Ivy's eyes wandered off, staring into the distance, possibly reminiscing about one of her "clumsy nights".  
"I can't tell him Red, you know what he's like ... he'll freak out." Harley raised her head only to slam backwards into the stained colours of the bricks behind her with a dull thud.  
"You mean he'll hit you, like all the others time. He'll hit you for absolutely no reason apart from his anger problems and you'll just go running back to him straight after you've escaped. Don't you ever learn Harl? He doesn't love people! He uses them until, in his eyes, they've expired of their usage date and then they disappear." Ivy sighed, sitting down and placing a tinted green arm over the blondes shoulder.  
"Red ... Ivy ... he, he really loves me! He just, he gets a little angry every –"  
"Angry? Angry!" Ivy exclaimed, "don't you remember Harley! Only 3 months ago you came running into here with blood all over you and a broken nose? Don't you dare tell me he loves you Harley! Don't you dare!"  
"Red stop! Okay so my Puddin's a little angry sometimes but he loves me, he really loves me." Ivy sighed, resisting the urge to shake some sense into her now pregnant friend.  
"Whatever Harley, it's not me who gets the beatings. Just ... at least let me come with you when you tell him and well, if he tries to hurt you I'll stop him, even if you don't want me to and I don't care if he tries to tell me to get out Harley, you're my friend. You and Selena are the only friends I've got in this world." smiling softly, Ivy stood up and held her soft hand out to the heap of red, black and blonde mess on the floor.  
"Ivy, I'm gunna struggle enough telling him on my own as it is never mind if anyone else is there. This is between me and him for now ... don't tell anyone, don't even let him know that you know Red, you know what he thinks of you ..." Harley took Ivy's hand and slowly pulled herself up, now feeling some sort of heavy weight resting upon her shoulders knowing that she was, one day soon, going to be a mother.

"Puddin'? Puddin'!" creeping into the abandoned warehouse she called home, Harley shouted her boyfriends pet name, praying he wouldn't answer so that she had some time to prepare.  
"Oh you're home," a voice floated from the makeshift living room, "I wondered where you were till I read the note," the voice was familiar but not that of her boyfriends, "the boss sent me back to tell you he's going to be late and that you should eat without him ... God knows why he sent me as a messenger to tell you that when he's got a perfectly good working phone in his pocket but, what he says goes I suppose." The voice began to move from the living room closer to Harley until the tall, slender body of a man appeared from the archway and moved closer to where she stood. In the dim light Harley could just make out that the man was one of The Joker's goons but couldn't tell which although she knew it would only be from a small selection ... he didn't trust just anyone in their home, only a select few. Finally the slender body came to a stand still underneath a ceiling lamp and Harley could just make out the boyish features of Jake, the newest arrival of the select few to be allowed in their home.  
"Jake?" the thin lips upon his face slowly curved upwards into a smile as if he was exceedingly pleased she had managed to remember his name, "where is he?" Harley asked curiously. The thin, smiling lips turned quickly into a frown.  
"Out, on business, he said you didn't need to know." Jake's voice held a note of jealousy.  
"Oh right ..." throwing her belongings onto the nearby table, Harley slowly wandered into the living room and slumped down onto the deep green sofa as Jake followed her.  
"Can I get you anything? A drink? Coffee?" Jake stood in the archway, one large hand on the framework.  
"Water please." Harley murmured, already lost in her own thoughts before Jake had even taken his hand away from the framework.

"Here ya-" Jake placed a tall, slim glass of water onto the coffee table in front of the sofa before turning to see tears strolling down Harleys flushed cheeks, "what's wrong?" he exclaimed, rushing to sit next to the unstable blonde. Harley sniffed, holding back yet another wave of tears as Jake placed a strong arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his flat chest.  
"Nothing! Nothings wrong I'm fine..." she whimpered into his chest.  
"Explain to me why you're crying then." Harley sniffed before looking up to see Jake smiling down at her with a look of sadness deep in his coffee coloured eyes.  
"I'm ... I've got myself in a ton of trouble Jake and I can't get out of it." Harley whimpered, snuggling herself deep within the folds of his jacket stretching across his chest. Suddenly the pair heard the click of the large front door and the clicking of The Jokers familiar tap shoes.  
"Oh honey I'm home!" Harley's boyfriends voice practically shook the house. Before either of the two could move, The Joker strode into the makeshift living room, stopping as his eyes wandered across to his girlfriend and one of his goons cuddled up together on his sofa.  
"What the hell are the pair of you doing?" he exclaimed, dropping the thick, faded brown sack in his hands onto the floor.

"Puddin'! Puddin' it's not what it looks like! Honestly!" Harley exclaimed, jumping up from the sofa and Jake and running towards her boyfriend only to be greeted by his hand across her cheek. The force of the blow made her stumble back and fall into the mahogany coffee table which split in two underneath her weight.  
"Boss! Honestly it isn't what it looked like!" Jake exclaimed, jumping up from the sofa as he held his hands up into the air.  
"Don't you dare tell me what it looked like boy, I know perfectly well what I saw. I saw you and my girlfriend having a quick go at it whilst I was out of the house!" the build up of anger within The Joker could be heard in his usually calm voice. Slowly, Harley picked herself up from the ruins of the coffee table and stumbled across to her boyfriend who had begun to walk very slowly towards Jake.  
"Puddin' stop it! I was upset and –" again The Joker's hand met Harleys face slamming her backwards onto the bitterly cold floor.  
"Don't lie to me you whore! I know what I saw!" The Joker grabbed Jake by the collar and lifted him upright with some unknown strength before throwing him into the nearby wall. Jake fell to the floor, blood oozing from a newly formed cut on his hand.  
"Boss it –" Jake started before The Joker threw his balled up fist into Jake's nose, once, twice and again.  
"Puddin'" Harley screamed, stumbling across the room and throwing herself at her angry boyfriend. The Joker turned and grabbed Harley, lifting her up in a similar way to the way in which he lifted up Jake.  
"Don't pretend you weren't going to kiss him. Don't pretend you weren't going to sleep with him. I bet you already have haven't you you little whore?" The Joker hissed in Harleys tear stained face before throwing her back onto the remnants of the coffee table. Before Jake could say anything he found The Joker on top of him, throwing punches at him repeatedly. Eventually The Joker stopped, grating his teeth and glaring at the bloodied face of the boy, he stood up and spat at him. "As for you ..." he turned to see Harleys unconscious body lying on top of the broken coffee table. "Harley?" He asked calmly at first, walking over to his girlfriend slowly until he reached her crumpled body. As he looked down he saw blood slowly dripping from her nose and broken lip down her cheeks onto the mangled wood. "Harley?" he asked once more, this time a note of worry now in his voice. The blonde didn't move apart from the soft, rhythmic moving of her chest as she breathed in short gasps of air. The Joker sighed, placing his hands in his head he groaned and mumbled a string of curse words before he slowly picked up Harleys crumpled body in his strong arms and carried her up the stairs towards their bedroom. Gingerly, The Joker placed his unconscious girlfriend on their neatly made bed before kissing her forehead and grabbing his phone from his pocket. "Dr. Wilde?," he paused as someone on the other end of the line spoke quickly, "yes it's me, I need you to get here now, the abandoned industrial park on the edge of town, it's Harley, she needs your help." The Joker spoke calmly into the phone but with a slight note of hysteria in his voice before he ended the call and placed his sleek, silver phone back into the dark safety of his pocket.

"Well boys, this ones been a bit naughty and needs a good old lesson!" The Joker grinned madly as he dragged the body of Jake behind him into the circle of his most violent and insane goons. "There's a prize for whoever causes him the most pain of suffering and boy is it a good prize! I have to go for a while but I'll be back tomorrow afternoon and I expect him to either be in a hell of a lot of pain or well ... you all know." The Joker grinned before turning and walking out of the circle of excited madmen who had begun to laugh wildly. "Oh and, if any of you try contacting me before tomorrow afternoon, it won't just be him being taught a lesson, ta ta!" The Joker turned away, laughing as he climbed back into his car and drove back to the warehouse he called home.

/ I'm sososo sorry its taken me so long to update! But I've done it now and I've started writing the next chapter - yaay! /


	4. Chapter 4

/Here y'all go! People have been bugging me to update so here xD considering it's my birthday today you should be grateful I've finally updated although I'm sat here alone doing absolutely nothing ... "Happy birthday to me" yaay anyway, go read xD /

Chapter 4.

"Well, she has a broken nose and a broken wrist but apart from that, it's not too bad." Dr. Wilde smiled weakly to The Joker, closing his medical kit and standing up from his seat next to Harley on the bed.  
"How much do I owe you doc?" The Joker wiped a hand across his sweat ridden forehead before looking up from his seat next to Harley.  
"Nothing J, you scratch my back I scratch yours, let's just say we're even now hmm?" the doctor smiled once more at The Joker, "I gave her a small dosage of morphine to dull the pain but that'll wear off in an hour or two, if the pain gets any worse tell her to take some paracetamol and if that doesn't work you know where I am." The doctor turned to leave but suddenly stopped just as he was about to leave the room. "When she wakes up, you may want to ask her something. Oh and I've left her a little note on the bedside table, you are strictly not allowed to read it J, only when the time is right will you know." He grinned before waddling off down the hallway and eventually out of the building. The Joker looked puzzled for a few moments before realizing that the doctor had been taken off the medical register for a few good reasons.

Soft rays of sunlight seeped through the thin curtains covering the windows of the bedroom as Harley slowly opened her tired eyes.  
"You're awake ... finally." A soft voice whispered from beside her. Sitting bolt upright instantly, Harley turned to see her boyfriends dazzling smile but a wave of nausea overtook her. Leaping out of the bed, Harley dashed to the bathroom just in time with her boyfriend in hot pursuit. "Oh ..." he mumbled, backing off slightly, "I wondered where you were going but well, it's obvious now." He chuckle softly before helping Harley up from the floor.  
"Don't touch me." She hissed, venom in her voice. Stumbling, Harley left the bathroom and slowly walked back to the bedroom where she grabbed a large overnight bag and started shoving her belongings inside.  
"What ... what are you doing Harley?" he asked, worry present in his voice.  
"I'm getting out of here like everyone said I should. You're ... you're a monster, a sick, twisted monster." She hissed, pushing past him to grab her toothbrush.  
"Harley! Harley baby I'm, I'm so sorry about last night, I, I don't know what came over me, I just, I saw red Harl. Can you blame me? I came home and saw you all cosy with that pig!" The Joker grabbed her arm as she pushed past him, this time trying to leave his presence.  
"The only pig around here is you!" she exclaimed, trying to yank her arm out of his grasp and failing, "at least he could see how upset I was around here. He actually cared about how I felt unlike you." She hissed once more, trying again to free her arm.  
"Harley! How can you ... I stayed by your side almost all night to make sure you were okay, the only time I left was when the doc was here." He whimpered softly, his sea green eyes shining softly in the dazzling light of the sun.  
"Let me guess, you left to sort out business hmm?" a tear trickled down Harley's cheek as she stared coldly into his soft eyes. Something inside of him changed and he began to feel guilty, after a long moment of silence he let go of her arm and watched as she turned and walked down the hallway, further and further away from him. When the front door slammed, he screamed, he screamed until his throat hurt and he became hoarse. Turning, he slammed his fist into the wall before slumping down against it.  
"Why?" he whispered softly, his head held between his hands in the cold and solemn hallway.

"Red answer the door!" Harley screamed at the scratched paint work of Ivy's apartment door.  
"Harley! What the hell are you doing here so early?" Ivy opened the door allowing the emotional blonde to run inside before she closed it again. "Oh God Harley ..." Ivy stared at Harley bruised cheek and broken lip, never mind the plaster stretching across her nose, "I told you to let me come with you when you told him ..." Ivy ran up to the blonde and took her in a strong embrace.  
"I didn't tell him Ivy, he, he thought I was sleeping with one of the guys and lost it." Harley broke down and sobbed into the locks of fiery red coloured hair upon Ivy's shoulders.  
"He's a monster Harley." Ivy whispered softly into her friends ear.  
"I know Red, that's why I'm not going back, I can't. If not for me then well," Harley stood back and placed her hands on her stomach, "I can't let him hurt my baby Red, I just, I can't."  
"He's not hurting either of you Harl, ever. I promise I won't let him. You're staying here with me, I don't care what you say it's safe here ... safer than anywhere else is anyway."  
"Oh Red," Harley wrapped her thin arms around Ivy's neck, "thank you so much." Ivy smiled softly before wrapping her arms around Harleys neck in an embrace.

"It's been four days Red ... I wonder how he is ..." Harley thought out loud as she rubbed her hands across her slightly bulging stomach.  
"Harley, what did you say to me before? You said you're not letting him hurt that baby and if you're wondering how he is then that's just a way in which he's going to work his way back into your life and hurt that baby. You're what, a month pregnant? And he's already hurt that baby! You can't let him do it again Harl." Ivy spoke softly from where she stood tending the plants on her window sill.  
"I know Red but well, he is the dad, I'm allowed to talk about my baby's dad. I want it to know him, but ... I don't want him to hurt it." Harley whispered softly, a tear trickling down her cheek.  
"Harley, if that kid knows its dad it's going to get hurt! The best thing is, pretend its dad is, oh I don't know, a policeman who was killed in one of The Jokers twisted little games or something! That way it'll know its dad ... for the twisted monster he is." Ivy hissed quietly.  
"I suppose yeah but ... I'd feel bad lying." Harley murmured.  
"I give up with you Harley!" Ivy threw her hands up in the air and placed her gardening tools on a nearby table. During the moment of silence between the two women, there was an urgent sounding knocking at the door. Harley turned to look at Ivy with a puzzled look on her face.  
"I bet it's Selena, she always comes here after robbing someone of their precious jewels or whatever, I really wish she wouldn't." Ivy muttered, wandering over to the front door and undoing the multiple locks so she could open it.  
"Is she here?" a rushed and slightly hysterical yet familiar voice came from the door as Ivy opened it.  
"No now get lost." Ivy hissed before slamming the door only to realise there was a foot wedged into the doorway meaning she couldn't fully close the front door. Harley recognised the voice and jumped up from the sofa, determined to find somewhere to hide from The Joker ... somewhere to protect her baby.  
"I don't believe you." He hissed back before slamming the door wide open and striding into the apartment. It was to late. Harley froze as her blood turned to ice. She was stood directly in front of his dishevelled appearance.  
"Harley ... oh Harley I've been looking everywhere for you." He whispered softly, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. The blonde shook her pigtails, tears forming in her eyes as she clamped her hands protectively over her stomach.  
"Go away." She whispered, fear in her voice.  
"You heard her, get the hell out." Ivy hissed from behind him.  
"I'm not going anywhere, not until Harley tells me what this is about." As he spoke, he produced a slim, folded white piece of card from his pocket, the note the doctor had left for Harley when she woke up. Slowly Harley took the folded piece of card from her boyfriends hands and unfolded it.

"Harley,  
I ran a blood test whilst you were asleep and noticed something rather peculiar although you will most likely have realised by now. It's fine and unharmed, I thought the knowledge may put your mind at rest, I didn't know if you had already told him though so ran a few scans whilst he was gone to make sure.  
Dr. Wilde."

Harley smiled softly, at last she knew her baby was completely fine and that The Joker hadn't actually harmed it ... just her.  
"So?" he asked quietly, his hands limp against either side of his body and all the colour drained from his face.  
"Get out, she doesn't need you interfering with her life anymore than you already have." Ivy hissed from the open front door.  
"Red, I might as well tell him," Harley whispered softly as Ivy began to shake her head violently from side to side, "I'm ... you may want to sit down ..." Harley began slowly, one hand still held protectively over her stomach. "I'm," she took a deep breath before starting over once again, "I'm pregnant." She whispered.

"Why the hell did you tell him? Now he's going to want to have custody of it and make it his and Harley for God's sake! You know what he's like! He'll hurt it Harley, just like he does you." Ivy exclaimed, slamming the front door shut.  
"I'm ..." The Joker looked stunned, his eyes glazed over with worry, "it is mine isn't it?" he asked suddenly.  
"Of course it's yours, there's no way it could be anyone else's unless this ones tricking science." Harley smiled softly as she looked down at her stomach, trying to ease the mood in the room.  
"So I'm ... I'm going to ... I'm gunna be a dad?" The Joker whispered in awe. Harley simply nodded in response, chuckling softly to herself as The Joker's grin grew wider and wider. "I'm gunna be a dad ..." he whispered to himself. For a few minutes the three adults in the room stood and sat in silence.

"Red, thank you so much for putting up with me these last couple of days but, I've got to go, I've got a family now ..." Harley smiled to herself as she picked up her overnight bag and shoved her stuff inside.  
"Anytime you need me Harl, you know where I am." Ivy smiled softly as she watched Harley and The Joker walk down the hallway out of sight before closing her apartment door.  
"So, I'm gunna be a dad?" The Joker asked.  
"For the last time yes!" Harley laughed softly as she threw her bag on the back seat of her boyfriends car and climbed into the front. Laughing, The Joker climbed into the drivers seat and sped off down the busy road, cutting off a small blue mini as he pulled away from where he had parked.

It had been two months since Harley had established she was pregnant and it was beginning to show via her now bloated looking stomach.  
"Puddin'?" Harley shouted from her place on the dark green sofa as she heard the front door click open.  
"No it's a ridiculously brave burglar." The Joker shouted from the front doorway.  
"He'd have to be pretty brave to go up against you puddin'." Harley swooned as she watched her boyfriend walk through the living room archway and place a collection of shopping bags on the new coffee table Harley was resting her feet on.  
"Actually I was talking about the hormonal pregnant lady beached on the sofa but yeah that works as well I suppose." He laughed as he sat down, placing an arm around his girlfriend who frowned and crossed her arms. "And how's our little pie today?" He asked softly, planting a kiss on Harleys cheek before rubbing a hand across her stomach. Harley giggled softly at the name he had given their unborn child. Somehow he had decided that since his pet name was Puddin' their child's would have to be something to do with baking, especially seen as it was "still in the oven" in his eyes.  
"A-okay, oh and thanks for asking mum." Harley stuck her tongue out and wiggled it in her boyfriends face. The two had taken to calling one another by their parent name so that when the "pie" did come out the "oven", it wouldn't get too confused.  
"Sorry mum." He laughed loudly and planted a kiss on Harley's bloated looking stomach and flushed cheek. "So," he started, grabbing the TV remote and putting it on mute, " I've been thinking, I want to do this the right way and well, I thought of something to help make it like the right way." Harley looked utterly puzzled but he continued anyway. "This kid is going to be confused enough with two super criminals as its parents so I want to make its life a little less confusing." He grinned at her before producing a small, grey box from within his pocket. "Harleen Quinzel, would you do me the honour of being my wife?" He grinned at her before flipping the box open to reveal a large white diamond on a thick silver ring.  
"Puddin' ... it's ..." Harley looked up into his dazzling green eyes, "of course I will dad." She smiled softly before pulling him closer and planting her soft, red lips upon his velvety ones.


End file.
